10.04.2006

OK, Doc

I had to see an endocrinologist for new insulin because the Humulin U that I have used since I was diagnosed was discontinued. After being told the fact I was still using that kind was archaic a few times with an exasperated look (sorry, it's been working very well for me, so why change), I got a scolding.

And no, not for what might make sense for a doctor to lecture about … as RobG guessed … something like not testing my blood sugar enough or not keeping my blood sugar in proper check. Nope, I'm good there. After seven years with the condition, I was scolded for apparently being ashamed of having diabetes!

I guess I used the word "discreet" a few times when talking about using my medication. Finally, she sighs loudly and says, "You need to get this 'discreet' business out of your head. There is no reason to be discreet about anything. Being diabetic is no big deal. You'd be surprised at the number of people that are diabetic. It doesn't matter if people see you take your medicine. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're hanging out with people that wouldn't like you if they saw it, then you don't want to hang out with them anyway."

Whoa. I was slightly taken aback to say the least. I told her that I was in no way ashamed, but that I preferred to carry around as few things as possible and the smallest items possible. Finally, I gave up even explaining myself because I got the distinct impression that she didn't believe me anyway.

Ashamed! I was so weirded out that I just stopped thinking about it and continued answering questions, but while I was riding back to work, the irritation began to fester. "You'd be surprised at the number of people that are diabetic," kept resonating in my head. I mean, wouldn't you be surprised by that number BECAUSE the people are, in fact, discreet about it?? Call me crazy, but I haven't felt the need to go waving my syringe around at the dinner table. Obviously, that's because I'm ashamed.

So, friends, watch out the next time you're dining with me. I've been going about this all wrong. I guess I need to come up with an outlandish ritual to flaunt that I'm diabetic. Who knows … maybe the whole restaurant should know about it. After all, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

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